Beyond White and Black

Life is beyond black and white. There are different (oh so different) shades of grey to it!
I can’t help imagining how many shades or hues of testimonies people have about life. While all you see is every kind of ‘gloom’ someone else is all kinds of ‘glee’.
Can you imagine all of us being born with the proverbial ‘silver spoon’? I tell you none would still be contented or as happy as other. From the beginning the creator of heaven and earth made us so. Man AND Woman He made us. Each with his own DNA to propagate the earth. Colour,shapes and fingerprints NONE alike! Yet we just want to make life about whites..and blacks..?
I say it’s folly.

It’s folly to see life from your bend and then absolutely assume everyone can see exactly what you see. Same folly it is that makes a Man and a Woman in Marriage come together as one expecting the other to be exactly tailor made to the description IN YOUR HEAD.

Wait a minute bro no one knows you unless you tell. No one gets you sis till you can express your innermost,sometimes tangled beyond logic,emotions.
Would you quit judging every end you see until you’ve heard all parties and all ‘shades’ concerned..no matter how apparent the case may be..?

I’ve one too often found myself in situations I once made myself a judge of only to ‘see’ differently when life turned its beam on me.
Hmmm..
As for life.. I have seen dark,experienced night. Sometimes it beamed its whites,the greys are held at bay. Yet sometimes you look back,you glance forward and you can neither say its black nor white..grey has come.
Still the sky though grey..will sometimes shine it rays,colourfully bright as The Rainbow. Have Faith my dear.

Legging it

A lot of people know what they want and intend to dress themselves up to suit their intentions,but they lack the knowledge or seldom ask ‘HOW?’
Often time I’ve said, the difference between vogue-setters and vogue-watchers is in the “how”!
There’s a what,where and “how” to every look.
Let’s take for an instance, If you wear a pair of “leggings” to church on a sunday,you’d best be putting on a dress that falls below your back side in length. However this same leggings done with a sash loosely tied around your hips complete with a cropped top and a wide brim hat should set you in a mood for the beach.Its the same item but worn differently to suit ‘where ‘ you’re going.

Talking about leggings,they come in different shapes,shades and styles. We’ve got the Jeggings (denim leggings),that’s an adaptation of the Jeans wear. We’ve the lycra ,cotton,corduroy types..panty hose..pop socks etc.
With all these varieties also comes diversity in taste and most especially, “how” to wear them.

The thing about panty hose (sheer hosiery) is that it’s in the underwear category and shouldn’t be worn otherwise. At best it can be an accessory. Its known as panty hose because it’s seen as an extention of your panties. It hides blemishes, on the legs and could tone down the shock of an exceptionally short dress, skirt or shorts. Difference between panty hose and pop socks is apparent,one is a pant,the other is a sock. Other than that, both can serve the same purposes.

The thing about denim leggings is its likability to the Jeans wear. The difference is in texture. One has a sleek snug feeling,the other is ..well stiff. Denim adds class to leggings.
You could wear any of these items with a dress,skirt or extremely short pants.
This holiday season is usually synonymous with extra cool weather. The harmattan season requires more coverage yet cool comfortable fabrics. This makes the dear old leggings one of your most valuable items for now. How? With it you enjoy coverage that a regular trouser/pant can give and the lightness that’s as close as can be to being bare!

The down side of leggings is it can make your skin really itchy when it’s been worn all day. Not to worry this shouldn’t give you a rash unless your skin is already reacting to an infection. Nonetheless,a good moisturiser can help soothe and prevent your skin from being chaffed.
If you already have that painful rash between the thighs however the sheer hosiery is a smart choice to add to your outfits. Simply because it prevents the friction between your thighs while walking and saves you from painful..oh so ‘peppery’ stings of the rash.
Whether you dress for comfort, covering or just to make a fashion statement ,remember,often times what we really need isn’t more clothes,but more ideas to wear the ones we already have.

Be smart,LOOK good!

Holy..crap!

Now i understand why God has a huge distaste for religion.
Seeing a neighbour all dressed up (more like ‘cloaked’ up) brought a bile up, even, to my mouth.
I’m wondering where exactly the real person is at this moment..?Perhaps,God wonders too.
Hmmm…
The folly of a gathering that allows people live double lives,still, amazes me. And to think that this lady-neighbour sings in the choir?
Look..
“It doesn’t matter ,you can do all you want with your body all through the week..so long as you can cover it all up under ‘the prescribed” cloak,you are as righteous and holy as you can be”.
This seem to me,to be what is being preached.

God looks on our heart ,true,but I wonder what this is really doing to the “poor soul”,my neighbour-lady here’s mind. I wonder whether her heart is even being reached AT ALL. (does anyone care? so long as the choir stall and pews are being filled weekly,they can go to hell there after… Right?)

Doesn’t it bother us that this one may never KNOW God loves her as much on Monday,to Friday and Saturday as much as he does on Sundays too?
That holiness is as much how we live our lives when no one’s watching as it is even when they are glaring down on us.?

I agree there must be ORDER,but nothing more than the code expected of us also (as regards clothing) at our places of work. By no means must we encourage “disguise” by hungry,spiritually parched souls and call it decency.

Holiness doesn’t get anyone to Heaven..RIGHTEOUSNESS does. Holiness is the rich benefit,developed through our walk with God right here on earth!
Without a right-standing with God being holy (by crook or ‘cloak’) is nice looking but FRUITless. You can ask good old Cornelius.

This isn’t meant to attack anybody or doctrines. My purpose here is simply to call our attention to what we are paying attention to. Don’t leave the filth in the pot,while labouring over its look on the outside.
Don’t get satisfied with what you see on Sunday..God is not. Reach the heart with THE MESSAGE that gets the body up and in line all through the week,starting from Monday morning!
-Yours Sincerely.

Miracle Next Door

The thing is God uses people to bless us.
He has put everything we need around us,including our neighbours!
“..Better is a neighbour nearby,than a brother far away.” (Proverbs 27:10)

I have been a recipient of God’s grace and mercy being prominent through my neighbours.
If I had refused,blatantly,the wisdom of God in His word,many a time I’d have gone mercilessly hungry and stupendously loose opportunities.

Many of us stick to the facetious way of living. We keep our ‘silent sufferings’ very comfortable in our already overburdened minds
.
Many are sitting,living on top of their landed properties and perhaps keys to their next dream car. Yet they call it their ‘downstairs neighbour’.

Your next big contract may perhaps have reached your hand if only you take your next door neighbour seriously whenever he tries to engage you socially.
Now you’d say..”Hmmm..people are bad,can’t be trusted you know,this world is wicked!”

Let me ask,are you a good person?
Do you think good thoughts towards your neighbour? Do you wish him well?
Do you do to him what you’d want done to you..?
Dear friend,YOU ARE THE NEIGHBOUR! Make your world a better place to live in. You are someone’s miracle,living next door..

I woke up one day and found someone walking down the street having all the colors of christmas on,then some more!Alarming.cos it wasn’t even Christmas..and even on a christmas day you are NOT allowed to wear that.

So I took a yawning look at this fellow and realise to my sudden amusement: its the ‘in’ swag.As of today.

I smiled,walked into my closet and remembered growing up…
All I had to learn when I needed to dress up was :what colors go with what?

Heck you don’t even need that anymore,today.Seem to me like the more riotous you could get the better and more ‘fashion forward’ you are.Today you could even win an award for it.Something you dare not do some decades ago if you don’t want to suffer the grief of a social outlaw.lol!

Well I’m so amused to announce to you that today you’ve got NOT to teach your kids how blacks and whites are universal colors.And anything could go on it.If that’s all you got friend you can kiss trend talks with your teens good bye.

You need to learn all the new shades of green,red,purple and orange.Today’s universal colors.you’ve got to learn how to match up all those with blue,pink,beige,burgundy and much more.

Yes things got a little bit more complicated.

Well I had to go someplace where am not known as a fashionista but as a customer.Simple.
So I picked my dark brown double butt pocket pants,cream blouse with multi colored embellshments.Red droopy ear rings and red colored pumps.No red bag,I went with cool brown medium sized clutch.
I was set.

now color coding or not I felt good in that collection.nonetheless sometime ago I’d have ‘jeje-ly’ stayed with cream and brown all through.

So color riots,color blocking,color coding.It’s all in the name.
Whenever you need to pull out a collection from your closet,all you need do is remember who you are,what you’ve got and where you are going.

***
SHAWN
2012

***

VICTORIO’US’ ! (5)

As for the avalanche of hopes.dreams and promises. We never intend to run out of those.
Every day we see our dreams being fulfilled (while some are dashed),every hour we dream yet more!
Many will take perhaps many years to accomplish- in fact ,that’s exactly what we want. This journey we both signed up for is a FOR-EVER thing.

At this anniversary (to borrow T.D Jakes’ personal joke between himself and wife) “we talked things over and decided to renew our contract”.
If you ask us why,we’d tell you :
We’ve found VICTORY and it tastes so good in our mouth.

#Dedicated to every newly wedded couple out there who have just embarked on a “happily ever after”.
May God uphold your home and give you LOVE-VICTORY everyday in every way!

***END***

VICTORIO’US’ ! (4)

Reading these might seem like we had it tough (and oh yes we did). Suffice to say we sure realised it ourselves and it made us SMILE. Gleefully and maybe..a lil’ smugly too!
Yes,we made it! Our twinkling eyes seem to say. Victory is sweet,we sure love its taste in our mouth!

Recently,my husband had an expose meeting set up on “HOW TO FALL IN LOVE”. We realised people often get it all wrong.
Love is not a game,nor an event. Imts not an enigma,or euphoria..Love is VICTORY!

1 cor.13:8!

Incidentally,that week of our anniversary, I fried my first plantain without turning it into a ‘burnt offering’ as usual (who’s the queen now?lol!)

The fifth year of our marriage met us in an apartment we’ve only always dreamt of.
With crazy caring neighbours who are just that – Neighbours.
Not co-workers,house mates or flats mates(if you’ve not been where I’ve been,you won’t understand,period.)

Finally we are learning to stand on our feet steadily financially. No ride of our own yet (again) but we have drivers at our beck and call,anytime.(*wink!* go figure)

While pregnant with our second baby,I had to be counselled several times by medical practitioners and tirelessly by my doctor to eat.
This time there was so much to eat but I resolved not to.
I had one so big when I wasn’t eating,what are the chances of having the next one ,at least,at the same size? I quizzed.
So I concluded I best not eat at all! Lol!

Oh we communicate better now.
We fight like twins and settle like kids.
-the former is forever bound to the other,the latter can’t hold a grudge beyond a moment.

We keep growing at it every day.

In the sex department..hmmm(shy?why shall I shy)..let’s just say I’m not exactly a virgin anymore.( Yaaay…!lol!)
..
(Continued in my next)

VICTORIO’US’ ! (3)

We chatted and giggled like high school lovers. More about the ‘bloops’ and pains. How I could never fry plantain without burning a batch,(even when all I had to fry was just a batch!)
The long term issue(s) of accommodation. Ridiculous living and surviving expenses. Crazy neighbours. Flat mates,co-house mates and co-workers.
Hard financial times. Days of hitch hiking,bus rides and lapping in ‘molues’ (popularly known mass transit buses in Lagos),not for romance,but lack of adequate fares!

How we went several hours of days without food while pregnant with our first child. Yet I delivered a whooping ten pound plus baby!
How we battled communication issues..many days spent not talking to one another..several months of trying to figure out our peculiar rhythm at SEX..

And an avalanche of hopes,dreams,promises yet to be seen or fulfilled.

That’s just to mention a few highlights of our reflections.

..(Continued in my next post)

Marriage is a herculean task. The victories in it are what we make of the stories we share.

On the 21st of March,I looked at my husband-fiance-friend-pastor (counting back to twelve years since we’ve began our journey of love) and my heart still did a flip.
That, I state with all godliness and truthfulness,I lie not.

What I found daring however is,how,after all these years’ hurts,excruciating pains,daunting..wanton faith sometimes,we are not ‘just’ still together but he is still the one.
(okay in that, I lied.*chuckles) He is not exactly the ‘same’ one anymore,but this same,now improved ONE ..I love,I’m committed to,I adore..!

It should be interesting to note that on this particular day..

(Continued in my next post)

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